Self Talk and Positive Thinking.com » Self Growth

Self Growth Through Anger

Sergejus — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:47:25 +0000

Anger is one way of expressing your frustration with your life and the world. Anger can be a valuable tool for self growth if you know how to use it. Self growth through anger can actually be some of the greatest lessons you’ll ever learn. It can signal that something is wrong and that you need to do something about it. If you take the time to actually examine your anger instead of just “feeling” angry, you’ll gain incredible insights into yourself. The problem is usually we’re too busy being angry at people or external events to learn the valuable lesson our emotion is trying to tell us. We’re blaming others for our feelings when really we should be looking inside.
Here’s two ways to enable self growth through anger in a positive way:
1. Why Are You Angry?
Ask yourself, “Why are you really feeling this way?” If your response is something like “because Joe didn’t pick up the dry cleaning like I asked him to” then you’re not looking deep enough. Blaming others is the superficial response. Even if you are mad at Joe, what bothers you the most about the situation? What is it telling you about yourself, your needs, your wants, etc. You need to work through the emotion of anger as soon as you can. It’s your reaction you need to figure out. Dig deep and learn from that. You’ll be amazed at what you can discover about yourself. I can give you a personal example. I went to a meeting once and I was verbally attacked over an application I supported at my work place. Various people went on and on about how terrible this system was and that it never worked. That didn’t bother me that much. I was used to that but one of the comments was, “your job is pointless”. This really upset me at the time. I was also absolutely furious with that comment. My immediate reaction was:
• How dare they say that?
• Didn’t they know how hard I worked?
• Didn’t they know how much overtime I’d been putting in lately?
I was so angry and upset that they would treat me that way. Once I took the time to think about what was really making me so mad, I learnt a lot. I realized that the comment was more true than I wanted to admit. In the big scheme of things, my job was pointless. It wasn’t what I really wanted to be doing with my life and this is what frustrated me the most. Here I was pouring part of my heart and soul into a job I didn’t even really want to do. I had convinced myself that I was important there. That I was making a difference. I wasn’t. I was using it as a crutch because I didn’t have the confidence in myself to take the scary road towards what I really wanted to do. As soon as I realized that, a lot of my anger just melted away. I also realized that I needed to start focusing on what I really wanted to do. I now consider this incident as a great gift. It got me back on track to moving in the direction I want to go with my life. I probably wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t taken the time to figure out why I was really so angry.
2. Change Yourself, Not Others
The other thing to remember when feeling angry is that you can’t change other people. You can only change yourself and how you react to it. Once you figure out why you’re so angry, you then have a pretty good idea of what you need to change. You also have a better idea of what personal issues you need to work on. Feel unappreciated? Figure out why and how do you change your own feelings towards that? Mad at your spouse for burning the toast? Most likely that’s not what’s really bothering you. Usually, it’s a symptom, not the cause. Take control of the situation and change yourself. Your emotion has provided you with the clue, now figure it out. When Using the 2 Steps, Remember the Following: A sure sign you’ve figured out the true cause of your anger is the moment when you feel the anger suddenly subside. In the above example, if I’d left my soul searching at the point where I was still angry at not being appreciated by my co-workers, I wouldn’t have been able to discover the real issue. I would have still been very frustrated and angry at the external situation. Annoyed with my co-workers when they were only a symptom, not the true cause. As soon as I understood what was really happening, all the anger disappeared. I also knew I needed to make changes and from understanding why I was mad I had a better idea of what I needed to do. My anger truly was a great gift for me. Until you figure out the real reason, the emotion will remain. It will be like when you have a thorn in your thumb. You may think you have it out but when you feel a prick every once in awhile, you know it’s still there. It’s not out until you deal with it. A sure sign that you haven’t dealt with the real reason is that you find that you get irritated very easily with everyone and everything. It will seem like everyone is just out to wreck your day. When you’re absolutely furious at something or someone, it can be hard to get yourself to start thinking about why it bothers you so much. The more you do it, the easier it gets though. And you feel a lot better afterwards because you have used it for personal self growth rather than letting it’s destructive side hurt you. You are able to move forward with your life because you have resolved the issue instead of just stuffing it down inside. If you deny your true feelings, episodes of anger are going to occur again and again until you deal with it. Anger is also a negative emotion which takes a huge amount of energy. You may also find that your immune system is reduced if you’re holding on to a lot of anger. Use your energy for positive things and learn from your anger. Think of it as a gift you’re being given to learn about yourself and how to get the life you really want. You learn in life that the only person you can really correct and change is yourself. And sooner you do it sooner you will be able to enjoy better and more peaceful life.

Unlock The Path To Self-Growth When Everything Falls Apart.

Sergejus — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:05:17 +0000

We often have the perception that self-growth will be simple, enjoyable, and rewarding. It certainly can be, but there is also another aspect of the self-growth journey that is rarely mentioned. And that is, when everything falls apart.So, how do we deal with the pain and fear when everything falls apart? Our first reaction might be to run away to avoid feeling the pain. Another reaction might be to try and put everything back the way it was before it fell apart. But doing so only delays the process. Remember that the destruction is necessary in order to make room for the rebuilding of something better
When everything falls apart, pay special attention to the exact circumstances that have begun deteriorating. This gives you a big clue about the biggest lies (limiting beliefs you have formed) about yourself, and your life. Look for the connection between the blockages you are dissolving, and the circumstances that are coming apart at the seams. For example, if you have begun exploring your true talents and abilities, and then you suddenly lose your job, a little introspection may help you to realize that your job didn’t allow you to use those talents and abilities, so it needed to be removed to make way for a more fulfilling career. Sometimes the connections can be a little more vague and you may have to dig a little deeper. It may take some time to fully understand how everything is related, but if you keep at it, you will come to understand it and you can then use that knowledge to rebuild something better.This isn’t an easy process by any means. But it is oh so fulfilling and exhilarating if we embrace it and allow it to happen without fighting against the pain and fear. Through our trials and challenges come new levels of growth, wisdom, and inner strength beyond our wildest dreams. We just need to stay with the process and watch for the rainbows after the storm. So,self- growth is not escapism; and real knowledge is not in big words and philosophies; real knowledge is a daily experience of life. As James Allen observed “it is a common error to suppose that the Higher Life is a matter of reading and the adoption of theology or metaphysical hypothesis and that spiritual principles can be understood by this method. The Higher Life is a higher living in thought, word and deed, and the knowledge of these spiritual principles which are imminent in man and in the universe can only be acquired after long discipline in the pursuit and practice of virtue.” True philosophy is one that crystallizes in deed and in a truly mastered life; every other commitment is vain and only serves to deceive the simple.
There is no justification in seeking after the “higher truth” when you despise and therefore not apply yourself to the truth you currently know. There is a sense in which truth is synthetic; a mind that cannot comprehend the simple wisdom of life is incapable of handling the deeper mysteries of destiny. As they say, it is only when the student is ready that the master appears; it is only when you prove yourself worthy in the ordinary obligations of life that you will be given charge over the great responsibilities that await disciplined and virtuous souls.

I invite you to conduct a growth commitment self test; how long have you been on this journey of growth and awareness? What is your true motivation on this journey? What are some of the things you have learned along the way? How many of these things are you practicing in your life right now?

You see, you will not be able to get the “big” revelations if you neglect the simple wisdom of everyday life. You cannot be entrusted with the riches of heaven if you prove unfaithful with the possessions of mortality; there is only one way from childhood to adulthood – it is the way of growth. The urgent call for you is this: do the Word. The wisdom of life is in thought, word and deed; nothing less. When duty calls, do not be found wanting; be counted among those worthy to stay the course and obtain the treasures of heaven.

In the final analysis, if you discover your True Calling in Life, and Choose to Follow your Passion – Realistically, you may not be in the ranks of the Rich and Famous. So, what is more important in the long run – Money, Status, Security, Comfort, or fulfilling yourself through following your True Passion?

We all have a choice; one can live his life and not question his existence, or choose to examine his life. We do not have to seek out our own mission and purpose, nor live our lives True to our own Hearts.

But, an important question to ask ourselves is this – If we do not Aspire to be all we were put on this earth to be, will we have truly lived our lives in the best possible way? At the end of our lives, will we feel we have lived our lives to the fullest? Will we be satisfied with our accomplishments and what we contributed to the planet, and be a willing participant transitioning to the Great Beyond?

In other words, if you finally feel that you have fulfilled your purpose here, what more is there to do, but leave this earth when you are called upon to do so? When it is your time to pass away, will you have done everything you wanted to do with your life?

We only get one chance at living. We only have one chance to do our lives right. That is it. This is the reason why you should put your heart into all you do, and to make certain you choose to do only those things you have the passion for. While you are still alive, you have the chance to complete your life on earth. Do it with all your heart, so there will be no regrets. Find your Dreams, and then pursue them – This may be the only thing you do that you will not regret.

SELF GROWTH ANALYSIS QUESTIONNAIRE.

Sergejus — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:04:39 +0000

Annual self growth analysis is very important. By doing that you will understand are you going ahead , standing still, or going backward in life. Our object should be, of course, to go
ahead. Annual self growth analysis will show to us,whether advancement has been made, and if so, how much. It will also show any backward steps we may have made.
Our annual self- growth analysis should be made at the end of each year, so you can include in our New Year’s Resolutions any improvements you might need to make.

These questions will help you to define what changes do you need to make in order to achieve your goals. This information also will be priceless to personnel
directors, employment managers, and other executives charged with the selection of employees, and the maintenance of efficient organizations.
SELF GROWTH ANALYSIS QUESTIONNAIRE.

1. Have I achieved the goal which I established as my number one goal for this year? (You should set your yearly goals with understanding that it should take you closer to your major goal in life).
2. Have I delivered service of the best possible quality of which I was capable, or could I have improved any part of this service?
3. Have I delivered service in the best possible way of which I was capable?
4. Have i been cooperative at all times?
5. Have I permitted the habit of PROCRASTINATION to decrease my efficiency, and if so, to what extent?
6. Have I improved my personality, and if so, in what ways?
7. Have I been persistent in following my plans through to completion?
8. Have I reached decisions promptly and definitely on all occasions?
9. Has my relationship with my associates in work been pleasant, or unpleasant? If it has been unpleasant, has the fault been partly, or wholly mine?
10. Have I been open minded and tolerant in connection with all subjects?
11. In what way have I improved my ability to render service?
12. Have I been intemperate in any of my habits?
13. Have I expressed, either openly or secretly, any form of egotism?
14. Has my conduct toward my associates been such that it has made them to RESPECT me?
15. Have my opinions and decisions been based upon guesswork, or accuracy of analysis and thought?
16. Have I followed the habit of budgeting my time, my expenses, and my income, and have I been conservative in these budgets?
17. How much time have I devoted to unprofitable effort which I might have used to better advantage?
18. How may I re-budget my time, and change my habits so I will be more efficient during the coming year?
19. Have I been guilty of any conduct which was not approved by my conscience?
20. In what ways have I rendered more service and better service than I was paid to render?
21. Have I been unfair to anyone, and if so, in what way?
21. If I had been the purchaser of my own services for the year, would I be satisfied with my purchase?
22. Am I in the right vocation, and if not, why not?
23. Has the purchaser of my services been satisfied with the service I have rendered, and if not, why not.
Having read and assimilated the information presented through this questioner you are now ready to create a practical plan for improving your self growth
and marketing your personal services.