Self Talk and Positive Thinking.com

When you are born, you come into the world with two natural qualities. First, you are completely unafraid. You are totally fearless. You have no reason to be afraid because you have had no experiences to make you afraid. The second natural quality that you are born with is that you are completely spontaneous. You laugh,cry, pee, poop, sleep and express yourself with no thought or concern about whether anybody approves or disapproves. These are your natural qualities in a state of nature. As an adult, when you feel completely relaxed and safe, surrounded by people whom you like and trust, your natural tendency is to revert to being completely open and unafraid, spontaneous and expressive. This is the ideal condition of the completely happy, fully functioning adult. Starting early in childhood, as the result of the things your parents do and say, you begin to learn the two basic negative habit patterns that then become the most destructive influences in your life as an adult.
The first negative habit pattern that you learn is called the inhibitive negative habit pattern. This is what soon becomes the fear of failure, risk and loss. As a child, your natural urge is to explore your environment. You eagerly reach out to touch,taste, feel and experiment with everything around you. But often your parents react and even over react to this behavior by discouraging you as much as possible. They say, “No! Get away from that! Don’t touch that! Leave that alone!” Many parents reinforce their words and threats with spankings and punishment. Children need love like roses need rain. Love is as important to the developing child as is food. Any interruption of the flow of unconditional love to the child causes the child to feel nervous and frightened. Psychologists say that virtually all adult problems are rooted in the phenomena of “love withheld” in early childhood. When your parents become angry with you as the result of your natural desire and drive to explore your world and your environment, you have no way of understanding that this is because of their fear for your safety. Instead, as a child,you merely react and respond with the idea that, “Every time I try or touch or taste something new or different, my mother or father gets angry at me. It must be because I am incapable and incompetent. It must be because I am no good. It must be because I can’t do it.” Fear of Trying Anything New This feeling of “I can’t” begins the development of the fear of failure. If you are discouraged or punished too often as a child, very early in life you will become fearful of trying new things. This fear will then carry over into later childhood,adolescence and adult life. Thereafter, whenever you think of doing something new or different, something that entails risk or uncertainty, your first reaction will be “I can’t!”

As soon as you say the words “I can’t” to yourself, you will begin immediately to think of all the reasons why such a thing is not possible for you. You will think and talk in terms of failure, rather than success. You will think of the uncertainties and all the possible risks of loss that may occur. Before you even try something new, you will talk yourself out of it. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, once asked an audience, “What is the average number of times that a person tries to achieve a new goal before they give up?” After several guesses from the audience, he gave the answer. “Less than one.”
The point he made was that most people give up before they try the first time. They give up without even trying once. Even though they want to improve their lives,increase their incomes, and accomplish more than they are today, as soon as the new goal pops into their mind, they automatically respond with the words “I can’t!” And begin thinking of all the reasons why it is not possible for them. The most important habit you can develop for great happiness and success is the habit of repeating to yourself and believing, “I can do anything I put my mind to!” The most powerful words that you can repeat, over and over, to neutralize and overcome the fear of failure, are the words, “I can do it! I can do it!”
The kindest words that a parent can tell his or her child, in addition to the words “I love you,” are the words “You can do anything that you set your mind to.” It is amazing how many people’s lives have been dramatically affected by the influence of a single person, a parent, relative or friend, who simply told them, over and over again, “You can do it.” So,why not to give your best shot to whatever idea you’ve got,do something about it while you can,and don’t think that you can’t do it. Good Luck! And remember “The Best Is Jet To come!”