The brain is the most powerful computer in the world—your personal Einstein. Now  you will learn how to stretch the grooves in your brain in order to use more of this marvelous tool on your shoulders. What do I mean by ‘stretch the grooves’? “Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, ‘Man’s mind, stretched to a new idea, never returns to its original dimension.’

One day, after a long jog, I happened to glance at the soles of my jogging shoes. There, stuck in the grooves or treads on the bottom of my shoes, were dozens of little pebbles. Waxing a bit philosophical that day, I wondered to myself, ‘Why are these pebbles stuck in the treads of my shoes? I reasoned that the grooves must have been the perfect width to capture this size of pebble. Other pebbles were either too small or too big. They just bounced off. I took a stick and began prying out the pebbles when the next question popped into my mind.

If my shoes had bigger grooves, would I catch bigger pebbles? Yes, this seemed reasonable. Then, another question came. If my brain had bigger grooves, would I catch bigger ideas? Every day we are bombarded with dozens of million-dollar ideas. But most of them bounce right off because the grooves in our brain are too small to accept them.  I will show you how to stretch these grooves that have become so shriveled by negative thinking.

How do you stretch your brain to accept bigger and bigger ideas? You associate with big thinkers. Right. Most of us, however, are influenced by small thinkers— small- minded people who take pleasure in telling us what we can’t do. With constant exposure to small ideas, we gradually begin to think smaller thoughts. Small thoughts lead to small results—a diminished life and a smaller amount of income. Yesterday we learned that money is attracted to ideas. Big money is attracted to big ideas. Small money is
attracted to small ideas.

If you expect to have more than the average person, you have to learn to think bigger thoughts. The best way to do this is to increase your exposure to bigger ideas. To associate with big thinkers. I’d like that you listen to audiotapes or dvd that contain speeches from some of America’s and world’s finest big thinkers,like ” Og Mandino,Anthony Robbins,Denis Waitley,Earl Nightingale,Zig Zigler,George S. Clayson,Robert G. Allen”. By listening to these tapes or dvd’s daily you will gradually stretch the grooves in your brain and increase your capacity to accept bigger ideas.

Each tape will expand your mind, excite you and motivate you to act. I’m going to encourage you, even challenge you, to listen to one of these messages every day—a minimum of thirty minutes. Listen while exercising, cooking, driving around looking for bargains or working in the yard. I’m not kidding when I say that you can get the equivalent of a college education listening to tapes while you’re stuck in traffic.

Advertisers spend billions every year to influence our behavior with repeated commercial messages. If it works for them, why don’t we start changing our behavior by introducing into our habit pattern a regular diet of great ideas on tape? I listen to tapes almost every day and never fail to learn a new thought, strategy or technique. If you make a daily habit of listening to mind-expanding ideas from successful people, the small thoughts will be crowded out of your life forever.

HOW TO DEVELOP A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE

P rogram your mind with positive thoughts.
M aster your body.
A ssociate with a network of positive people.
P ractice your skills to perfection.
M otivate yourself with goals and deadlines.
A lways look for the good in every problem.
P ray: Count your blessings and ask for guidance.
M agnify your talents.
A ct optimistic (fake it till you make it).
P lan your work, work your plan.
M aintain your perspective: See the big picture.
A ppear successful: Dress for success.
P ersevere.
M odel attributes from other great and successful people.
A spire to be the best you can be.

If you don’t form new success habits, you’ll automatically fall back into a pattern of failure. But if you daily stretch your brain by listening and reading positive tapes and books, and the muscles of your body by exercising, you’ll form new habits that will, in time, lead to the stretching of your pocketbook.

Be thankful for everything even in the midst of the greatest difficulties you will experience, you can find things for which you are truly grateful. In fact, if you take a piece of paper and begin to write down the parts of your life for which you should be grateful, you will be amazed at how many items appear on your list.

Think about your physical body. No matter what your condition, you can be grateful for all of your senses, for the miracles of sight, sound, touch, taste, smell and feeling. You can be thankful for the functioning of your body and for the health of your limbs. You can be grateful for the incredible gift of the life that you have lived up until now, and the great life that lies ahead of you. Just sitting alone in your room, thinking about your current blessings, can give you a page full of reasons to be truly grateful.

Look around you at your personal life. When you begin making a list of every person in your life, and the good qualities and actions of those   people, you cannot help but be grateful. Think of every material item in your world, your home, car, clothes and other possession, and you will not know where to stop. Just thinking about the health and well being of the people you care about,  your spouse, children and friends, and the qualities of their personalities, will make up a list that goes on and on.

Think of the wonderful experiences you’ve had in the past, the lessons you’ve learned, the books you’ve read, the movies you’ve seen, the songs you’ve heard and the foods you have eaten. Think of the places that you have visited and the experiences that you have had in your travels and work. Look back over the years that have passed and look at the years ahead.

Think about the opportunities you have lying ahead of you, and you will be amazed at how many things you have in your life for which you can be truly grateful. I understand it can be difficult at firs if you have never done this especially if you are facing tough time right now,but you need to understand this,once you begin practicing  gratitude you’ll see how you boost your self-esteem and feel much better, especially in the midst of difficulties be grateful. I always thank God and when I’m facing difficult times and I stay grateful I have noticed I’m becoming stronger and stronger mentally, because there is something about being grateful.

Even if you feel bad but once you start to look for things to be grateful for,your emotions changes immediately from negative to positive, because to be grateful you have to change the way you think  and that’s where the magic happens. Start practicing gratitude in every situation, but only one thing I would like to mention, when your say “thank you” put your whole heart to it and see how your emotions changes and you start to feel fantastic also your joy and piece will increase.

When we are in our Assignment or workplace, challenges, difficulties, or transitions can occur that test our faith, love walk, and submission to authority. During these times we need to guard our heart and be relentless in dealing with negative thoughts and attitudes. When trials occur, we have a choice on how to respond. We can respond according to God’s Word, or according to our flesh.

When we respond in our flesh, by murmuring, arguing, complaining, and gossiping, we may be walking in doubt, fear, and unbelief. When we gossip or speak “our opinions” (especially regarding our authorities) we may be sowing
discord and strife. Sometimes gossiping can even be a form of manipulation – where someone may be trying to achieve their own agenda, instead of submitting to an unpleasant instruction.

Let’s remember what happened to the children of Israel, after they left Egypt. They wandered in the wilderness for 40 years – many died in the wilderness. Their journey should have been short, but due to their unbelief and rebellion against their God given authority – Moses, God could not allow them into the Promised Land. They were not prepared. If we trust and obey God during trials, He will use them to prepare us for our future. Otherwise,
we may have to “go around the mountain again” until we do learn to obey and allow God’s character to be developed inside of us. Thank God, if we have responded in our flesh, we can repent and God will forgive us (1 John 1:9).

Also remember, God will not allow us to be tempted above what we can handle, but with each temptation will make a way to escape that we can bear it (I Corinthians 10:13). How does God want us to respond during trying situations? Let’s read and meditate on the following Scriptures. Ask God to help us apply these to our daily lives.
• “Servants (employees) obey your masters (employers)… ” (Colossians 3:22-25).
• “Do all things without murmurings and disputings,” (Philippians 2:14).

• “Be careful (anxious or fearful) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication…” (Philippians 4:6-7). This is where we deal with any attitudes or offenses that come our way. Usually it is best to keep quiet about matters that concern us, unless we are privately talking to God and giving the situation into His care. After we give the matter to God in prayer, He will give us peace.

• “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you,” (Ephesians 4:32). We must choose to forgive those who offend us, no matter what the situation. We can do this privately in prayer. Forgiveness is a choice we make with our will and is not based on our emotions. When we pray about the offense or offender, we must leave the matter in God’s capable hands, trusting Him to work His will in the situation. This enables us to maintain a pure heart, and continue to walk in love and unity with others.

• “… Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, …think on these things,” (Philippians 4:8). After we have given a matter to the Lord in prayer, we cannot afford to allow our thoughts to run loose and wild…this is contrary to God’s Word and is unhealthy for our mental and emotional well-being. Remember God’s Word says, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee,” (Isaiah 26:3).

• “In every thing give thanks…” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). “We can praise God in faith, knowing that He is working all things together for good to those who love God and to those who are called according to His purpose,” (Romans
8:28). When we trust and obey God in the midst of trials, we will experience God on a deeper level in our relationship with Him. Our faith will grow as we see God answer our private prayers! We’ll begin to love and appreciate others as we see them through spiritual eyes. It will become easier to follow our leaders – as they follow Christ. When we pray about challenges, instead of taking matters into our own hands, God has a wonderful way of working in
the situation – especially in our own heart. If we respond to difficulties according to God’s Word, our position, or Assignment will be secure in the Lord.

We will have the freedom to put our full focus, passion, and development into our work, so that we can do our best for our Lord, our team, and for ourselves, without strife, competition or fear. This type of work atmosphere is productive, loving and stable. It is an environment that honors God and it is one that is blessed by God.

There are four keys to effective listening. You can read every book and article, listen to every audio program and take every course on the subject, but they will all boil down to the four keys behaviors of an excellent listener. Here they are:

Key 1. Listen attentively.

Lean forward. Listen without interruptions. Focus intently on the mouth and eyes of the person who is speaking. Imagine that your eyes are sunlamps and you want to give the other person’s face a tan. It has been said that, “Rapt attention is the highest form of flattery.” Whenever a person is intensely listened to by another, their self-esteem goes up. They feel more important and more valuable. They feel happy inside.

As a result, they feel better toward the person who is making them feel this way by listening to them so attentively. One of the ways to listen more attentively is to eliminate all distractions when a person wants to talk to you. If you are in your office, put down all paper, have your secretary hold your calls and eliminate all distractions. If possible, move away from your desk and sit with the person where you can face them directly with no interruptions or anything in the way.

If you are at home and a member of your family wants to talk to you, make a habit of turning off the television, folding up the newspaper and putting aside anything that could draw your attention away while the other person is speaking. Turn and face them directly. Lean forward. Imagine that listening to this person is the most important thing that you could possibly do all day long. Eventually this will become a habit.

Key 2. Pause Before Replying
The second key to effective listening is for you to develop the habit of pausing before replying. Instead of jumping in with your own comments when the other person takes a breath, pause for three to five seconds, or even longer. Allow a silence in the conversation. This habit of pausing before speaking has three advantages. First, you avoid the possibility of interrupting the other person if he is just stopping to gather his thoughts before continuing.

Second, when you pause, you demonstrate clearly to the other person that what he has just said is important and you are giving it careful consideration before replying. On the other hand, where the listener immediately jumps in with his own comment or observation, it is clear that he was not really listening at all. He was just waiting for his chance to talk.

Third, and most important, when you pause after a person finishes speaking, you actually hear them at a deeper level of mind. Their words, like water soaking into the earth, soak deeper into your mind and you actually understand what they really mean with greater clarity.

Key 3. Never Assume Understanding
The third key to excellent listening is for you to develop the habit of questioning for clarification. Never assume that you understand fully what the other person really means by what they have said, especially if there is any chance of misunderstanding. Instead, pause and then ask, “How do you mean?”

This is my favorite question for making sure that I thoroughly understand exactly what the person is saying and what message they are trying to convey. “How do you mean?” Here is an important rule: “The person who asks questions has control.” When you ask questions in a conversation, you take control of the conversation. The
person who is asking the questions controls the person who is answering the questions.

When you ask the question, “How do you mean?” or “How do you mean, exactly?” you get an opportunity to listen even more. You understand even better. You maintain control of the conversation in a very gentle and professional way. The rule in conversation is that, “Listening builds trust.” The more that you ask good questions and listen closely to the answers, the more the other person trusts you, believes you and is open to your influence.

The very best way for you to build high quality relationships with other people is to ask them good questions and then listen attentively to the answers. Pause before replying. Question for clarification. Seek intently to understand the other person and how he or she is thinking and feeling before you comment yourself.

Key 4. Feed It Back In Your Own Words
The fourth key to effective listening is to develop the habit of paraphrasing what the person has said before you reply. Feed it back in your own words. Say something like, “Let me be sure I understand what you are saying . . .”

There are two types of listening that are very powerful in building high quality relationships. The first is called “listening to help.” This is where you merely act as a sounding board, making no effort to comment or give advice. You encourage the person to talk and you ask questions that help her to expand her thinking. “Why do you say that? How do you feel about that? How do you mean?” And so on.

Sometimes, what people need more than anything else is an opportunity to talk out their problems or situation with another person who merely nods, listens and accepts, without commenting or giving advice. Many psychotherapists make an entire career of sitting quietly while the patient talks non-stop for fifty minutes, then collecting their fee and scheduling the next visit.

The second form of listening is called “reflective listening.” This is where you continually paraphrase and feed back the person’s thoughts in a new or different way. For example, the person can be complaining about an argument with his or her boss. You would reflect this back by saying, “it seems that when your boss argues with you it really affects your self-esteem.”

In both cases, your skillful use of the practice of listening causes people to like and respect you more. As a result, they are much more open to your input, advice and
influence. Good listeners are welcome wherever they go.

Key 1. The Importance Of Meditation.

It’s through meditation that you can realize conscious contact with God and banish doubt. Meditation is an exquisite practice for reducing stress,relieving fatigue, nourishing the soul, and having a general feeling of well-being. However, the primary  value of meditation is in allowing you to make conscious contact with God, and thus establish an inner faith that this divine presence is available at all times.

This knowing within yourself that you have conscious contact with God dissolves any doubts you may have yourself and frees you from the doubts others may direct toward you. This is what constitutes faith.

God is indivisible, the one power, the source of all life. God is wherever you are, omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. You can never divide silence in half because there is only one, indivisible silence. Meditating and practicing this silence on a daily basis allows you to come to know God, rather than knowing about God. This direct experience, attained by silencing the mind brings you a degree of faith that remains unshaken and untouched by the doubts or fears of anyone, including yourself.

This is the value of meditation in increasing faith that erases all doubts and communicating with HIM and knowing that GOD is with you at all times, and you can talk to HIM 24/7.

Key 2. Develop A  Trust In The Unknown

As incarnated physical beings we tend to rely on our senses to determine what is real. If cannot see,touch, taste, feel, or smell it, than we tend to believe it must not exist. Faith involves going beyond the senses to make spiritual consciousness the place that we trust. When you have a burning desire to transform  an idea into a physical  reality you have to learn to trust in the unknown. This kind of trust in the unknown is like an invisible, and invincible magnet that attracts to itself whatever it fervently desires and expects.

Develop trust despite the absence of physical evidence as perceived by our senses. No matter the circumstances or obstacles ,once you draft the dream the way can be cleared, and the universe responds and works with you to manifest that idea into a physical reality.

If you have faith in your dreams and persistently stick to them, you will douse that smoldering fire of doubt with faith in your idea. Trust that the unknown is knowable and that it is vastly greater than the known. Or as the one proverb tells us, ” If you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking”.

Key 3. Develop A Private Prayer That Brings You Into Communion With God

The purpose of prayer is not to influence God to grant you special favors or though this is possible too,but rather to remind yourself that you are always connected top God. Prayer does not change God but it changes him who prays. The change  that happens in prayer is the removal of all doubt by your faith. Private prayer is a reconnection to spiritual consciousness,to God. Pray in both the “good” and “bad Times”. When you pray in “good” times,give thanks to God for every good thing in your life,be thankful at all times. But when you pray in “bad” times, when you have a request and you want Gad to help you.

The are few conditions according to the bible that prayer would be answered. First,you have to believe that there is a God,secondly,you have to forgive those who hurt you or ask forgiveness whom you hurt, and finally,you have to believe that God heard your prayer and that He will work it out for you,but not in your timing or methods, just trust God that he will do what is best for you. Remember this, after when you have finished your prayer,you have to do your part in dealing whatever problem you facing with and the rest leave to God and trust that He will do what is best for you.

Key 4.  Affirm your Faith Not Your Doubt.

Faith is assurance of things hoped for, proof of things not seen. When you think that things might not work out, that your troubles continue to mount, that your problems are insoluble, that God has not bees listening, or that you are powerless in the face of so many struggles, you are affirming doubt rather than faith. You have to learn to affirm your faith in the face of doubt with thoughts that things will work out, things will improve,because God is working on your behalf, just keep trusting Him. And the change that you need is coming toward you.

Before we can make sweeping changes in our lives we have to make some minor changes within ourselves. The fact is that all of us have belief systems which effect us a great deal. The more you see yourself a certain way, the more you become that certain way. What you tell yourself about you determines the course your life will take. Who you are today was determined by what you believed about yourself yesterday. If you see money as hard to get, your subconscious mind is doing everything in it’s power to turn your belief into reality.

Key 1. The Power Off Faith. If you really desire to change the way you are, you have to believe that you can. Not only can, but believe that you ” will” change. You do have the ability to make your life the way you want it to be, but only if you believe  it is possible.

Key 2. Follow Your Thoughts And Words. If you tell your subconscious something often enough it will believe what it is told. You may have negative self talk without even realizing. These thoughts should be reprogrammed by telling yourself good positive information about whatever area in your life you want to improve. Pay attention to what you say, you may be surprised at how often your self-talk is negative.

Every time  you become aware of thinking a negative thoughts, turn it into a positive ones, before you speak it out loud. Each day, as often as you can, tell yourself that you will achieve. Make all your thoughts about you and what you are going to achieve positive thoughts. Eliminate all negative words and phrases from your vocabulary. Avoid statements like, “I can’t,” “That’s too hard,” or any variation on that theme.

Key 3. The Power Of Creation. Your mind will work to achieve your currently dominant thought regardless of what it is; so think only about what you want. And remember, you don’t always get what you want on each attempt, but in the long run, you usually get what you expect. Expect the best all the time.

Key 4.  Celebrate Your Small Victories. Every time you achieve a goal,weather it small or bigger one, congratulate yourself and treat yourself to something you love and enjoy. Try to come up with the list of all the things you love to do, and do them. Enjoy your life as much as you can. It is too short for you to spend it brooding over things you cannot do anything about.

Key 5.  Whatever Happens To You It Happens For A Reason. Never allow the bad things of life that happens to you to destroy and to make you depressed. But contrary let it build you up into a person that you always wanted to become,use self-talk and speak these qualities out loud  until it becomes part of you. When you speak out loud you will increase yourself-belief. When you say things,say with passion,energy and power,in other words feel it when you say it. Use your inner self-talk when you are in the public, and continually build up yourself with positive affirmations. Use positive affirmations that is inline with your goals,habits,and character qualities  you want to adopt in life.

Breakthrough by the Holy Spirit will always be a major advancement in life. It will come in whatever you need at that moment. It may be in your mind or in your finances. It may be in a relationship, but God will make the changes we need…if we let Him. You Cannot Receive Your Breakthrough Without Expectation. Expectation produces hope, excitement, anticipation. The Holy Spirit is available to us 24 hours a day, but He needs an invitation, a willing and obedient vessel, an open heart, with faith and expectation to receive.

We can have great expectations, but we also need to take responsibility for them. If you receive an invitation to attend a Wisdom Conference or any of our events, you can expect to receive and enjoy hours and hours of powerful teaching, revelation and worship, but if you don’t desire and you don’t act on your faith and expectation, there will be no Spiritual Breakthrough in your life…regardless of where you are! Are You Expecting To Receive The Greatest Spiritual Breakthrough of Your Life?

What Is A Spiritual Breakthrough?

A Breakthrough In The Spirit is a major advancement in your life. It may be an advancement in your career…in your home…with your spouse, son, daughter or loved one who is away from the Lord. It may be a Breakthrough in your mind or emotions, something in your temperament or personality. A need for a breakthrough is some personal struggle that maybe no one else knows about, but you and God.

Maybe the Breakthrough you are asking for is for more of God’s anointing, Divine Wisdom or for greater revelation of Who He is. More of the revelation of God. Maybe you just want more of God in your life…you just want to be overtaken and led by the Lord. Whatever it is, we are in that time…in that season of Breakthrough. One of the things that has impressed my heart and blessed me so much is the story of the woman who was instantly healed when she touched the hem of Jesus’ garment. “And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse, When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched His garment.

For she said, If I may touch but His clothes, I shall be whole. And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague,” (Mark 5:25-29). She believed she would be healed. She moved toward Jesus. She anticipated a miracle and it happened! It was the greatest spiritual breakthrough of her life.

I Believe We Are In The Season For Miracles. Miracles are available to you right now. You don’t have to wait for someone to pray for you. You don’t have to wait for a special church service. Your miracle Breakthrough can begin right now where you are. Miracles are for the obedient. Miracles are for the ones who pursue them. You
have to reach for it. Grab it. Become a Receiver.

Are you a Reacher…are you a Receiver? The woman with the issue of blood did not wait for Jesus to come to her. She went to Him. She received a Miracle Breakthrough. When you pray according to the Scriptures, you can expect miracles to happen. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto
you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father Which is in Heaven give good things to them that ask Him?” (Matthew 7:7-11).

Your time for Spiritual Breakthrough is now!
A Breakthrough in your relationships.
A Breakthrough in your decisions.
A Breakthrough in your finances.
A Breakthrough in your emotions.
The Holy Spirit has anointed you. (Isaiah 61.) You can receive provision and deliverance. He wants to release miracles into your life. Worship your Heavenly Father. Thank Him for your miracle right now. Your Spiritual Breakthrough is waiting.

So, How Frustrations Could Be Valuable Tools?

I remember it was a long, tense boardroom meeting. The team from Finance wanted to scrap the whole project due to budget concerns while the Marketing group felt it would be worth the extra cost. Both sides raised valid points. In the end though, everyone was just frustrated. They had no idea how to move forward with this issue. It was beginning to look like the only answer was to ask a director to make the final decision. It was Suzanne from Marketing who suddenly made the brilliant comment of, “what is the end result we’re trying to achieve here?” And that is the answer to how to deal with frustrations.

Let me explain.

Our initial reaction when hitting a setback or a “roadblock”, whether it be during an important project or even just trying to finish a task, is usually one of frustration or thoughts along the lines of:
• “Why does this always happen to me?”
• ”Why doesn’t anything ever work for me?”
• ”Well, I guess that’s the end of that idea. Back to the drawing board.”
It doesn’t have to be this way though. By simply changing how you view the situation you can dramatically alter the ending. So, how can those frustrating moments be valuable? Here’s how:

Frustrations Can Indicate That You Need To Take A Step Back
You’ve heard of people not being able to see the trees for the forest, well you can get so caught up in wanting to accomplish a particular task that you forget the reason why you started in the first place. Stop and take a step back to look at the big picture. As Suzanne asked, “What is the end result you’re trying to achieve?” Take the time to re-affirm the original goal and see if you’re still on the right path. You may discover that you’ve somehow started down a road you never really intended to travel.

It’s easy to get so caught up in dealing with the day to day issues that you don’t realize that you’re now way off course. Take the time to re-focus on exactly what it is that you want to accomplish and you may find that you’ve just saved yourself a lot of time, effort, and money on something you didn’t want to be involved with anyway.

Roadblocks Can Also Be An Excellent Opportunity To Brainstorm

Sometimes when a plan is created, all of the potential options aren’t considered. You just immediately think of a solution and go for it. When you run into a frustration, it could be an excellent opportunity to brainstorm. You may discover far more efficient or cost effective opportunities available just by taking the time to do some research. Here’s an example: say you decide to publish a “How To” book. You get it all set up and then find out that the printing costs are just too high. You could give up on the idea or you could brainstorm.

During a brainstorming session, you could consider:
• could you create an ebook instead which would save the printed production costs?
• could you print and bind it yourself with the tools that are now available for just this purpose?
• could you alter certain areas to make it cheaper (i use less color photos, use only 2 colors, etc.)?
• is there a technical college available which may be willing to do the work cheaper as a learning tool for their students?
• would it be more effective as a web site?
The benefit of brainstorming is that you may discover a far better idea than the original plan. You may end up really glad that you didn’t go with the original direction.

Problems Can Be A Sign That You Need A Break

Your first reaction when running into a roadblock may be that you absolutely have to solve the issue no matter what. Just like whenever Superman saw some dastardly deed being done, he had to rush in to save the day. The problem with this is that you become focused on the feeling that the problem must be solved right now. It’s how people start to make huge mountains out of anthills. It can also cause you such stress that you just can’t come up with the answer. If you can take a break and come back to look at the situation from a fresh viewpoint, you may find that the issue wasn’t really as big of a deal as you initially thought.

Also, after you’ve had a chance to re-charge your batteries and regain your enthusiasm, the roadblocks may just disappear on their own with a solution suddenly seeming so very obvious. You just couldn’t see it before because you were only concentrating on solving an issue that felt huge at the time when it really wasn’t.
If you can think of your frustrations as opportunities then you will be far ahead of those that simply give up whenever problems occur. Think of roadblocks as “silver linings” for your goals and you’ll be amazed at what solutions suddenly appear. Your confidence to achieve your ultimate desires will increase as you now know you have incredible power. Your goals may suddenly become much closer than you thought and be even greater achievements and all because you knew frustrations are really valuable tools. You just needed to know how to use them.

The formula for Making The Right Decision is all about increasing your Recognition and Awareness.

Key 1. Switch On The Winning Model

1. Turn your winning mindset back to the “on” position – do not tolerate anything but a win.

2. Remind yourself  of the ultimate target in order to help you make the right decision.

3. Define your desired success by measurable parameters. ” I will boost sales by 15 per cent by January…”  ” I will finish by 3 pm…”  ” I will run 5 km..”

Than use the winning model (noble warrior, thinker, skill refiner and continuous debriefer ) to hit that target. For example: I want to pass that professional exam next month (Warrior and Thinker).

Therefore i will stay in tonight (Noble Warrior) and revise (Skill Refiner) and work on that subject I’ve been finding difficult recently ( Continuous Debriefing) rather than accepting that invitation to go to the pub. Renewing focus can renew momentum. Be a warrior from the start and fight against your shortcomings and any obstacles. Always keep your desired success at the forefront of your mind – it will help orientate you to make the right decision and stay on the right path.

Key 2.  Set Realistic Dead Lines

When there is no set deadline, there is no pressure. This kind of flexibility can be dangerously unproductive. Put yourself under “good pressure” by setting a realistic deadline by which to make the right decision. Set targets and make them known to others to encourage yourself to stick to them.

Key 3.  Know Your Enemy

When creating the opportunity for success, look at what your personal obstacles are, based on past debriefing. Stop and think about what is standing between you and success and resolve to bridge that gap. For example,reduce any uncertainty by proactively collecting information – making inquires, learning the facts,perfecting skills, consulting experts, discussing possibilities, evaluating options. Make sure your decisions are well informed. No one can expect to feel 100 per cent certain when making a right decision, but you can minimize the unknown element, thus reducing the potential for a wrong decision.

Effective people do not like to take uncalculated risks as these are typical “corners”, so they weight the risks in their favor by reducing the amount of uncertainty, controlling as many variables as possible. Avoiding unnecessary risks in winning behavior. This means that you can be confident of having made the best possible decision.

Key 4.  Know Yourself

Trust your intuition. If, after a rational evaluation following T-CUP (read more here about T-CUP) and assessing  the corners, your gut instinct strongly tells you to go one way, then it’s probably the right way. Intuition is truly an “educated guess” because it is based on a lifetime’s accumulated experience, so it should not be underestimated or ignored.

Key 5.  Know Your Own Mind

It’s advisable to seek the advise and councel of others, especially experts, but don’t allow anyone else to dictate your actions or force you into a decision you are not happy with. Sometimes we second-guess what people will think – such as our parents or our boss – and act according to their expectations for us, or to try and please them. Guilt, the weight of expectation and a sense of powerlessness can all sap up of our decisive energy. but again, make sure you agree with every decision you make. Remind yourself what you ultimate desired success is and use that as your guide or motivation.

Key 6.  Overcome Fear

Be a warrior. Don’t allow fear to be an inhibitor that dictates your decisions. Treat it as a challenge rather than as a barrier. In a similar way to people who find roller coasters or scary films fun, getting outside your comfort zone can be enjoyable, and it can help you learn  about yourself. Doubt is natural and useful; it helps us make sure we are not making a thoughtless mistake. Use doubt to ensure that you double check.

This is not wasting time – in most cases it’s a fantastic time-saver and it helps us achieve the best possible results. A great weapon against fear is knowledge. Research your decision as far as possible. Gather as much information as you can and consult experts.

Key 7.  Make The Decision

Don’t waste time and energy worrying what might go wrong. Don’t wait for other people or fate to make the decision for you. Be positive and proactive. Following all these rational steps, you are now ready to make the right decision. But it doesn’t end quite there…

Key 8.  Debriefing Your Decision

Having used the appropriate winning behaviors to reduce uncertainty and error, don’t be afraid to continually evaluate whether or not you made the right decision. A quick stitch in time can save nine. If you feel you have made a mistake, change it rather than carry on. Too many people carry on along the wrong lines either through a lack of awareness through not debriefing, or because it feels easier or less embarrassing to stick to their guns.

However, living with the consequences of a bad decision will always cost you a lot more than switching to the right decision as soon as possible. A continuous debrief means you are unlikely to have strayed too far down the wrong path. Always go for the best rewarding decision, even if that is not necessarily the  easiest one.

Key 9.  Follow Up Your Decision

Being able to make the right decision is brilliant,but it is not enough without action. Thinking like a winner means a rapid yet controlled transition from making the right decision to acting on it.

The Power Of Positive Thinking will help you overcome nerves and pressure as well as negativity and self-doubt. Like drinking a can of emotional Red Bull, it gives you a little pick-me-up when you need some get-up-and-go attitude. The more you experience success from positive thinking, the more you will trust in its power. But to realize that, you need to give it a go. So try this;

1. See No Evil

2. Hear No Evil

3. .Speak No Evil

See No Evil,  “The Power Of Visualization”

The truth is that we visualize all the time – when we “imagine the worst-case-scenario ” or  “hope for the best”.  So we may as well learn how to harness the power of visualization to help us rather than allow it to hinder us. If we allow negative thoughts to get the better of us, we will be too scared to try anything,trapped by a crippling fear of failure. But if we can picture success, immediately our frown softens, the tention in our shoulders eases and a smile might even appear.

Visual images  are hugely powerful; this is why video montages of success are so inspiring in the world of sports and business. Visualize achieving your goal; visualize how you are going to achieve it practically, step by step, visualize coping well with any nerves and pressure; visualize what it will feel like, how you will feel afterwords, what effect it will have.

Simulators are used to train pilots and surgeons so that they know how to respond in real life situations. So simulate for your own purposes; how that meeting with your boss will work out when you ask for a promotion, or how your speech will go and so on…

Automatically, you will feel more ready to take the bull by the horns and go for it. Approaching anything with that kind of attitude is far  more likely to bring about a positive results than being timid or afraid – or worse still, not trying at all.

Hear No Evil,   “Silence Your Critics”

You have to silence your critics – literally. If people around you are constantly undermining your self-confidence by telling you  or making you feel like you are no good, you need to get away from them. Don’t weigh yourself down with negativity – it’s very exhausting after a while. Instead, keep yourself buoyed by positive influences. Draw strength and encouragement from supportive people. This is why team-talks, motivational speeches and crowd support can be so powerful. It’s also why people like to psyche themselves up with rousing music.

Speak No Evil,

The other critic you need to silence is the one inside your head, the little devil on your shoulder who keeps filling you with self-doubt. This is where “self-talk” comes into play. Be a scriptwriter for the little angel on your other shoulder. Give them ammunition to shout down the little devil. Use self-talk with words of encouragement. “come on! I can do it! Can’t wait! Lets go! I will show them…” and so on. I like to use helpful and memorable catchphrases such as those;

1. It’s not trial and error; it’s trial and refinement.

2. Effective people are practical perfectionists: they go for the best result possible.

3. Taking short cuts is a short cut to failure.

4. Achieve success from setbacks.

5. You can change the way you think if you put your mind to it.

6, Effective People have “I will” power.

More often you will use self-talk with words of encouragement faster you will get to the point when you can go through hell and still be strong mentally and have piece inside of you.Remember,words create feelings and feelings lead to actions. When times are tough, my number one tool that I use is self-talk,because you will not find a lot of people who know how to talk to you properly and that’s why you need to master self-talk.

Feel The Force Of Change

Think of something that you have to do in the next few days that you are not much looking forward to. It doesn’t matter what it is or how mundane – attending a big board meeting, doing the weekly food shop or putting up with the in-laws for dinner….

Now force yourself to think about it more positively. You are full of boundless enthusiasm for the task; you can’t wait till it starts; you are going to thoroughly enjoy it; it will bring lots of benefits. Feel faintly ridiculous? Okay, but it’s better than feeling full of dread. Simply by choosing to think about the task differently, you can completely alter the experience for the better.

Of course,it’s much easier to think positively if you are full of self-confidence and self-believe.

Fe

Build On Success

Debriefing during and after a success is crucial for maintaining momentum because than you can spot what went right, isolate those factors and make sure you repeat them. Most people debrief and conduct inquiries only after failures. Although it is useful to learn from your mistakes, dwelling on the negative can be destructive because it can foster a negative mindset., Instead dwell on the positive and draw from it.

It’s easier for success to breed success if the breeding conditions are optimal. So why not create them? This is where most people have it all wrong. I believe that all too often in all spheres of life,but especially business and sport, people make too much of defeat and too little of success. When you lose a big business deal, you’re normaly hauled into the boardroom for an inquiry to find out what went wrong.

When you win a big deal, on the other hand, you’re normally taken straight down to the pub to celebrate. It should be the other way round. When you win the big deal, that’s when you should analyze what went right and how you can learn from your success to do it again the next time. However, when things go wrong, sometimes the last thing you want to do is dwell on the mistakes. It’s fine to do something else to distract yourself from being eaten away by it, but remember to debrief your mistake at some point otherwise you won’t learn from it.

When you have a setback, it’s important to realize  it is only that – it’s not the end of the world. People see failure as a sign that it just wasn’t meant to be. Rubbish! Be a warrior and fight these thoughts. Successful people know that long-term success is never linear; it’s up and down, but the overall pattern is an upward learning curve.

Be tough, and increase your pain threshold where difficulty and effort are concerned because this is the real world. You don’t become a successful after one single success and you don’t become a loser after a single failure. Successful people enjoy far more ups than downs because they learn from the ups and they learn from the downs. That’s how the frequency of success increasing. And in order to experience that , you just have to behave according to the wining behavior cycle.

To be successful you have to learn how to build on success when you experience them and how to minimize the damage to your self-confidence and self-belief when you experience disappointments. You can limit the effect of a setback by;

A- Choosing to think positively about it in accordance with the winning mindset.

B- Resolving to learn from it through effective debriefing.

C- Using it as motivation to improve, refusing to be beaten by it or to give up, even when the going gets tough.

If you do all that, you will not lose too much of the momentum you’ve built up. If I promised you that you’d never experience failure again, I’d be a liar. That’s life – but it’s about how you respond to a failure that matters. In order to succeed, you have to know how to lose; you have to know how to handle your setbacks in order to move forward.

Essential Exercise In Debriefing On Success

A- Think back to a success you recently experienced. It could be hitting a sales target, passing a driving test or an exam, getting a new job or promotion, going on a great holiday or buying a house.

B- Discounting luck, try and think of the reasons why you succeeded. Come up with five reasons and rank them in order of importance. Keep thinking until you’ve got five good ones.

C- Next, try and categorize the reasons you give so that you can see where your strength lie, where you went right and what lesson(s) you can learn for future reference so that you can repeat the success.

Essential Exercise In Debriefing On Setback

Now go through the same process for a failure you recently experienced. It might be something as basic as missing a train, forgetting a friend’s birthday or perhaps pulling a muscle during a tennis match. It might be something far more serious such as a relationship that broke down, or losing a big client at work. Discounting bad luck, think of the top five reasons for the setback and categorize them so that you can identify where you went wrong.

This should give you a good pointer as to where you can improve in future so that mistakes are not repeated. Don’t let the process of debriefing allow you to always lay the blame on external factors. It is important to also look at yourself for where things went wrong.

Read Part 2 here of  “How To Maximize The Opportunity For Success”.

Read Part 1 here of  “How To Maximize The Opportunity For Success”.

Get Back To Basics

Winning is about reducing your life to it’s manageable, measurable chunks and controlling them – a little like a recipe. The more you can control, the less chance there is of things going wrong and so the more you can dictate success. The basics are your safety net, your building blocks on which the rest of your success is founded. But for most of us, the basics are so basic we almost don’t even think about them. They are second nature. But unless we are aware of them, we cannot effectively control them. How do you what your basics are? This is something you need to draw up for yourself. Think through the following examples.

1. If you are manager, you need to make sure that your staff are productive, profitable and happy, and that you are meeting your targets. if you allow yourself to be preoccupied by board level problems or distracted by what the opposition are doing, you could find that your neglected team starts to fall apart.

2. If you are a restaurateur then the basics are producing good quality food and service so that people will come back again and spread the word. But if you’re more concerned with opening a new restaurant or maximizing profits  in the short term, than you may find the basics suffer, leaving you with no costumers to go to your new restaurant and no profits in the long term.

3.  If you’re a parent than your basics are to provide security, a home, food, closing, love, support and opportunities for your children, and to set them the best possible example you can.

4. If you’re a salesperson, what are your basics? Maybe it’s having good-quality examples and an effective and knowledgeable sales pitch. These basics are easily measurable – by how many you sell.

5. If you’re a teacher, what are your basics? it might be having thorough and appropriate lesson plan, having enough materials for the class, and seeing  progress from your pupils…

Again, all these areas are measurable, so if you’re not mastering your basics you can soon see where you need to improve. For every basic you identify there is another level – your operational basics. This will show you how to improve and give you the tools to find a solution. Winning is not trial and error, but trial and refinement.

Maintaining The Momentum

Maintaining the momentum,it helps the successful people to maximize success, minimize failure and continue to improve so that success is not a sporadic or temporary experience but a continuous and ongoing lifestyle. Maintaining the momentum after a success reflects the strength of the winner’s warrior mindset.

The Danger Of Complacency

Being successful and winning often gives you a great self-confidence boost. The danger is that it can make you complacent – and that is when you are most vulnerable to messing it all up. Effective people don’t take their foot off the pedal. Their attitude is not to take anything for granted, for to do so implies taking an unnecessary risk. Maintaining the  momentum is also about safeguarding success.

For example, you might have won some great business for your company, but if you subsequently become too complacent and neglect your clients, you could lose them and your good reputation to boot. Fight back: be creative, improve your product, be number one i service. Similarly,, you might have lost a lot of weight, but if you immediately go back to your old ways after achieving that success, you will regain your old weight. If you maintain healthy eating and exercise habits, you’ll be able to keep your success going.

Continue to behave in the way you did until the point at which you achieved success. Keep your standards up.

Read  part 1 here of  “How To Maximize The Opportunity For Success”

Read Part 3 here of   “How To Maximize The Opportunity For Success “

Key 1.    Plan

Create the opportunity for your desired success. Successful people won’t just dive in without thinking first, even if it’s just a second or two’s preparation. This is because winners do not take unnecessary risks and chances. They stick to tried-and-tested methods that work. Get in the  habit of sitting down at the start of each day and before each task, and think through what your desired success is. You’ll find your efficiency improves a great deal.

Key 2.   Debrief

Continuous debriefing helps us stay on the right path – a route on which there is rarely any congestion – through a process of real-time self checking. Through reviewing our actions – both in real-time and retrospect – we learn what works and what doesn’t so that we can repeat  the successes and edit out  any failures. You need to become so familiar with the process of continuously debriefing that  that it embeds itself in your intuition like a reflex. This will come with practice and repetition until it is so automatic you barely even have to think about it. It’s as simple as taking a brief moment every now and than to look at:

A. What your ultimate desired success is,

B. What are you doing at that precise time,

C. Making sure the two are aligned.

If not, than you need to adjust or reset your actions until they are. This means that you don’t waste your time,energy and resources carrying on regardless down a path that will ultimately lead to failure. Remember: making mistakes is normal, but successful people don’t repeat them.

Key 3.    Back-Up

Successful people have a plan B and C as a plan A, but these plans will also be tried and tested. Back-up plans are another insurance measure to guard against failure.

Key 4.    Simulate

Visualizing the expected scenarios in our minds makes us more prepared, and less likely to face something we hadn’t considered. This could take the form of thinking up the kinds of question you expect to be asked in an exam, an interview or at the end of presentation  so that nothing takes you unawares. It might also be helpful to imagine how you would react if anything goes wrong, so that you are well-prepared in any case.

Concentrating on the process of achieving our desired success, as opposed to just thinking about the success itself, tends to make us more focused and purposeful.

Key 5.    Practice

Successful people want to succeed. So they put every effort into making sure that happens: by preparing, by minimizing risk and by practicing. This is the skill-refining stage of the wining behavior model. As part of creating the opportunity for their desired success, winners practice  and perfect so much that it ends up looking like a pure gift or talent when it is in fact the result of a heck of a lot of work.

Not many people naturally enjoy putting in lots of efforts, and winners are the same, but the difference is that they fight their natural tendencies to stop or give up. This self-discipline to go through the pain barrier comes  from the warrior part of the winning behavior model. But it’s a lot easier to find the motivation when it brings  success.

Key 6. Seizing The Opportunity

Action Plan

This is the second stage of the successful people behavior cycle. For impatient people, this is often step one, while perfectionists and procrastinators may not even get to this stage. Again, a key factor here is timing. You can’t be impetuous and jump in too soon, but nor can you delay forever and miss the opportunity altogether.

Moving from the “dreaming” of stage one to the “doing” of stage two is the moment of truth when some people freeze or fail to deliver. We can all talk a good game, but delivering is another matter. We need a winning mindset to make the most of any opportunity. This will enable us to overcome two types of blocks to success:

1. Inner obstacles – subjective limitations: over-confidence, complacency, fears (of failures, of success), lack of confidence/self-belief, perceived lack of  experience and /or skills, physical and mental fatigue. It’s the devil on our shoulder.

2. External obstacles – objective limitations: the opponent, the target/goal, level of difficulty, the environment  (finances,facilities,experience, and so on.)

To seize the opportunity and make the most of it, you need to employ the following T-CUP principles  we outlined in previous post read  more here.

Look Into Yourself. Look at your own life and work. Ask yourself, “What are the factors that determine how rapidly I achieve my most important goals?” The 80/20 Rule seems to apply to the subject of constraints in a special way. You will find that fully 80% of the constraints or limitations that are holding you back from achieving your goal are within yourself, not in the world around you.

They are contained on your own attitudes, beliefs, fears, or lack of a particular skill or quality. Only 20% of your constraints are external to you or to your business. Develop the habit of looking into yourself for the solutions to your problems. Ask this question, “What is it in me that is holding me back from achieving this goal?”

What could it be? Whatever it is, identify it clearly, set a goal to overcome the limitation, or develop the habit, and then take action on it every day until you are successful. As the Roman philosopher Herodotus wrote, “When a man’s fight begins with himself, then he is really worth something.”

Change Your Thinking About Time

Read an occasional book or article on time management. The great change for me came when I realized that time management was the sun of my life, and everything else that happens to me are like planets that are in orbit around the way I use my time. This insight had a profound influence on my life and work. The rule is that, “If you improve the quality of your time management, you improve the quality of your life.”

Make it a habit to read in time management on a regular basis. Make it a habit to listen to audio programs on time management and to use a good time planner or palm pilot. Make it a habit to attend at least one time management program or seminar each year. The fact is that you cannot become “too good” at time management. Every single
method, technique or strategy that you learn, apply, and develop into a habit, will have an immediate positive effect on your life. When you develop a set of time and personal management habits that become automatic and easy for you, from morning to night, you will double, triple and even increase your productivity,
performance, output and income by five and ten times.

You will put your career onto the fast track in life. You will get more and more done, in less and less time, at a higher and higher level, and earn more and more money.
Great success in whatever field you choose is simply a matter of developing the habits that are consistent with the achievement of extraordinary results. And all
habits are learnable.

Key 1.  Think Before You Act

Winners know that under pressure they always have more time than they feel they have. Taking the time for T- CUP is never a waste of time – it always saves time. Get into the habit of taking a pause for positive thought.

Key 2. Stay Focused

You will rise your self-confidence when you keep the ultimate goal in mind – wining. Your success rate will improve when you  won’t allow yourself to be distracted. When you lose focus just remind yourself that you have achieved many times before and you can do so now. A physical reminder such as a  to do list next to your computer screen, an alarm on your watch or a photograph on your fridge can help to keep you focused.

Key 3.  Prepare Thoroughly

Do not mistake wishful thinking for positive thinking. The mistake many people make is to study the biggest achievers, hear how supremely confident they are about there chances of wining and confuse cause and effect. Winners do not win just because they parrot a few positive phrases. It’s a combination of real self-belief and diligence and sticking to the winning way. Winners succeed because they have done everything they can to prepare for success. They work, think  and practice like winners. That is why winners maximize their potential.

Key 4.  Defeat The Fear Of Failure

Burst the tyre on the vicious circle of negativity – It’s just in your head. The way to do this, especially if our self-belief is not as high as it should be, is to keep the task as simple as possible. Don’t allow people to undermine you or put you off. Don’t allow your mind to run away with the worst-case scenario. Block out any negative thoughts that enter your head. Almost like a parachute jumper standing in the doorway of a plane at 12,000 feet, you have to force yourself to overcome the fear, believing that you will land safely. Keep your mind on the successful end result, visualize it, and go for it. Continually remind yoursef of your capabilities and your previous achievements.

Key 5.  Look At It Differently

Can’t see the wood for the trees? Making mountains of molehills? Sometime we are too close to the problem to see it objectively. Get a new prospective. Look at it from another person’s point of view. Talk to other people about it. Force yourself to think differently – almost like playing chess against yourself. Is there anything positive you can focus on? Suddenly the problem won’t seem as bad, and you might well find a solution you hadn’t thought of.

key 6.  Debrief Continuously

Make a habit of debriefing. Give yourself credit for the successes as you go along, and evaluate how you  can improve to make it less stressful next time. This will make you more efficient as you won’t repeat  annoying mistakes and will therefore be more positive. The problem is that when we feel down, we often don’t debrief in the right way. We concentrate on, and allow in, what went wrong. And when something goes right, we don’t debrief and analyze what went right. We don’t enjoy the success or figure out what we need to learn in order to repeat that success, and this dictates our state of mind. It’s important to debrief positively during and after each situation to learn the lesson, fix what needs to be fixed and then move on.

Key 7.  Stay Positive

If you have a positive self-image and self-worth, you will find ways of improving and hence enjoying your life – by constantly debriefing. This means you will continually strive to improve and focus on the positive, and that will change your state of mind. All of a sudden you will be used to, and comfortable with ,success. So you won’t feel such an interloper in the winners enclosure – it won’t be an accident.

Key 8.  Spoil Yourself

Sometimes all it takes is some pampering to make us feel better: a new haircut, a bit of retail therapy or a darn good workout in the gym. Maybe go and see someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Take some respite and have a good time and you’ll feel stronger and more prepared to take on the world.

Key 9. Don’t Be Sarcastic

Resist sarcasm and cynicism. They might seem harmless enough, but they can be deceptively corrosive and indicate of a negative mindset that will eventually ware you down.

Key 10.  Psyche Yourself Up

Give yourself a running start by pumping yourself up – for example using the “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” tactics. Get the adrenaline flowing and you won’t know your own mental strength.