Self Talk and Positive Thinking.com

Key 1.  Think Before You Act

Winners know that under pressure they always have more time than they feel they have. Taking the time for T- CUP is never a waste of time – it always saves time. Get into the habit of taking a pause for positive thought.

Key 2. Stay Focused

You will rise your self-confidence when you keep the ultimate goal in mind – wining. Your success rate will improve when you  won’t allow yourself to be distracted. When you lose focus just remind yourself that you have achieved many times before and you can do so now. A physical reminder such as a  to do list next to your computer screen, an alarm on your watch or a photograph on your fridge can help to keep you focused.

Key 3.  Prepare Thoroughly

Do not mistake wishful thinking for positive thinking. The mistake many people make is to study the biggest achievers, hear how supremely confident they are about there chances of wining and confuse cause and effect. Winners do not win just because they parrot a few positive phrases. It’s a combination of real self-belief and diligence and sticking to the winning way. Winners succeed because they have done everything they can to prepare for success. They work, think  and practice like winners. That is why winners maximize their potential.

Key 4.  Defeat The Fear Of Failure

Burst the tyre on the vicious circle of negativity – It’s just in your head. The way to do this, especially if our self-belief is not as high as it should be, is to keep the task as simple as possible. Don’t allow people to undermine you or put you off. Don’t allow your mind to run away with the worst-case scenario. Block out any negative thoughts that enter your head. Almost like a parachute jumper standing in the doorway of a plane at 12,000 feet, you have to force yourself to overcome the fear, believing that you will land safely. Keep your mind on the successful end result, visualize it, and go for it. Continually remind yoursef of your capabilities and your previous achievements.

Key 5.  Look At It Differently

Can’t see the wood for the trees? Making mountains of molehills? Sometime we are too close to the problem to see it objectively. Get a new prospective. Look at it from another person’s point of view. Talk to other people about it. Force yourself to think differently – almost like playing chess against yourself. Is there anything positive you can focus on? Suddenly the problem won’t seem as bad, and you might well find a solution you hadn’t thought of.

key 6.  Debrief Continuously

Make a habit of debriefing. Give yourself credit for the successes as you go along, and evaluate how you  can improve to make it less stressful next time. This will make you more efficient as you won’t repeat  annoying mistakes and will therefore be more positive. The problem is that when we feel down, we often don’t debrief in the right way. We concentrate on, and allow in, what went wrong. And when something goes right, we don’t debrief and analyze what went right. We don’t enjoy the success or figure out what we need to learn in order to repeat that success, and this dictates our state of mind. It’s important to debrief positively during and after each situation to learn the lesson, fix what needs to be fixed and then move on.

Key 7.  Stay Positive

If you have a positive self-image and self-worth, you will find ways of improving and hence enjoying your life – by constantly debriefing. This means you will continually strive to improve and focus on the positive, and that will change your state of mind. All of a sudden you will be used to, and comfortable with ,success. So you won’t feel such an interloper in the winners enclosure – it won’t be an accident.

Key 8.  Spoil Yourself

Sometimes all it takes is some pampering to make us feel better: a new haircut, a bit of retail therapy or a darn good workout in the gym. Maybe go and see someone who makes you feel good about yourself. Take some respite and have a good time and you’ll feel stronger and more prepared to take on the world.

Key 9. Don’t Be Sarcastic

Resist sarcasm and cynicism. They might seem harmless enough, but they can be deceptively corrosive and indicate of a negative mindset that will eventually ware you down.

Key 10.  Psyche Yourself Up

Give yourself a running start by pumping yourself up – for example using the “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” tactics. Get the adrenaline flowing and you won’t know your own mental strength.

Each failure potentially has a negative impact on your self-confidence. When feeling low on confidence, our natural tendency is to shy away from any situation in which we might have to do something. We naturally want to sneak away from additional proof as to our “failings” and thus make ourselves feel less bad. The reality is that this doesn’t work – we’ll resent ourselves for being pathetic, for not giving things a go.

By avoiding situations because of a fear of failure, our mind is unconsciously marking down our behavior as a failure anyway. When we see someone who has tried and failed – perhaps a friend who tried to set up her own business, or a colleague who left the company but didn’t like this new job – we see this as evidence that we should stick with what we’ve got: better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. But the fact is that more of us say “If only I had” rather than “I wish I hadn’t”. For every person who is a bit impetuous and rushes in without thinking things through properly, there are many more who haven’t the courage to act on their dreams, to give things a try, and who live with that regret forever.

Winners act in a way that maximizes the potential for success: they don’t rush in without thinking, but nor do they spend forever dreaming and never doing. It’s not like there is a particularly amazing secret to success. Again, a lot of it boils down to self-belief, as a theory called the Pygmalion Effect suggest. The theory goes that one of the main reasons why successful and decisive people are successful and decisive is because they believe they are successful and decisive in the way they implement the wining model.

Similarly, one of the main reasons that unsuccessful and indecisive people are unsuccessful and indecisive is because they believe they are unsuccessful and indecisive. In both cases, the power of self-belief makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Be proactive and make decisions and you are on your way to being a winner. And don’t worry when you make mistakes. It’s normal – winners makes mistakes too. It’s just that they learn from them for future reference, thus turning a negative into a positive.

Talk Yourself Into It

Psychologist swear by the power of self-talk. So instead of saying “I can’t” say “I can” and “I will”. Return to the big decision you have to make. Now you say to yourself: “I will do it”. And believe it. Don’t leave it up to fate. Don’t worry what might go wrong. Just do whatever it takes to achieve it. Boost your “I will” power and automatically your mindset will become a wining mindset. Making proactive and positive decisions can help us:

A.  Beat the fear of failure and of the unknown.

B.  Break away from the restrictive status quo.

C. Reduce our sense of powerlessness.

D. Reduce our feelings of regret and “If only”

E. Maximize our wining potential.

Being a winner is not just about of making the opportunities,but about taking them too. There may be a few ups and downs along the way. That’s natural: wining doesn’t happen in a straight line. Just don’t stop where others stop because of poor self-belief or self-discipline. Be a warrior and fight back against any setbacks and obstacles. Take control of your life and you will feel more empowered, more proactive, less stressed and more likely to achieve your goals. The decision is your.

How To Feel Like A Winner

A. Live in the now – to be able to enjoy your achievements, you’ve got to be aware of them to begin with. So you need to give yourself credit when you succeed.

B. Don’t live only in the past – either by dwelling  on the past failures or harping back to the good old times too much.

C. Don’t live only in the future – if you’re always looking to the next step, always worrying about tomorrow’s problems, your life will slip away without your being able to consciously enjoy it. Many people miss out  on the enjoyment in an effort to keep chasing the next success, and that is why they are never happy. Live for the moment and in the moment.

Here are 4 keys that will help you to reframe your negative thinking and become more positive. What often happens is that the “frame” we choose for our life or particular  situations is influenced  by our inner critic, which tends to have a negative impact on how we view events and ourselves.

When you learn to spot unhelpful “frames” and are able to make a positive change to how you frame or view them, you are likely to feel more positive, have more energy, feel lighter, more motivated and satisfied with life – so it is worth persevering until you have mastered the art of reframing.

Key 1. Reframing Your Inner Critic’s Thoughts And Words. When you find yourself about to think or say negative, self defeating statements, think about another way of framing what you are thinking, and talking about that will be more empowering  and motivating. For instance you could say;

A.  “I’m hopeless at having relationships”. so you reframe it and say-  “I really need to learn from my experiences so that I can attract the right kind of person into my life”.

B.  “I hate this task, it is going to be tedious”. Reframe – ” There must be a way for me to make this task more interesting”.

C.  ” Nothing ever goes right for me, I feel fed up and useless” Reframe- ” I’m facing lots of challenges right now and it is tough, I need to look at what is going well and my strengths to build/draw on those”.

Key 2.  Choose Your Words Carefully. The  words we use when we think and speak about a situation have a powerful impact on how we feel and behave, so we need to choose our words carefully. For example: do you face challenges, or problems? I find it useful to talk about the challenges that I am overcoming rather than problems or difficulties I have to face This might seem like semantics, but how we view things and the words we  use to describe them will have either a positive or negative impact on our ability to deal with the situation in hand.

Key 3. Change Your Outlook.  Whether we have a “glass-is-half-full” or “half-empty” view of life effects everything in our lives. Do you look at what went wrong or what went well? Do you focus on what did not happen or what might happen in the future? Do you think about what you don’t have in your life, rather than appreciate all the things you do have? These different ways of thinking again affect how happy and satisfied  we are with our lives and the actions we end up taking.

Many people think feel that this is part of their personality and you are either an optimistic or pessimistic person. However, from my own experiences  and from working with clients I know it is possible to change the glass from being half-empty to being half-full.

Key 4.  Reframing The Picture In Your Head. As well as changing  the picture in our head, we can change what we focus on when we look around us. If, when we think of something that has happened or that is going to take place in the future, we have negative images in our mind’s eye, we can reframe it and see it in a more positive, empowering and motivating light. Somebody once said “you can not conquer what you won’t confront. In other words if you never confront your negative thoughts and change them into positive,it’s a choice that you have to make in order to become more and more a positive thinking person, until negative thoughts have no power over your life,because you consciously reframe everything what is negative into positive.

In order to happen  for this in your life,you have to decide not to watch  or avoid  watching everything what is negative including news. Let me tell you about the news After you have listened them you are already depressed. Basically what you hear constantly eventually you will believe it. So,chose wisely,take small steps every day and become  a person you always wanted to be. So,choose to read,watch something positive every day and associate with positive thinking people as much as you can,than you’ll see how quickly your thinking will start to change.

One of the most important habits that you can develop for health, happiness and long-life is the habit of maintaining a positive mental attitude toward the people and situations in the world around you. Remind yourself of the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the ability to change the things I can, the willingness to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference,” (Reinhold Niebuhr).

key 1. Resolve to maintain a positive mental attitude no matter what happens. Refuse to allow yourself to become upset or angry when people and situations do not measure up to your expectations. Instead, be calm, relaxed and focused on solutions to the problems and difficulties facing you.

key 2. Practice Solitude Daily Develop the habit of taking time for yourself, in solitude and meditation each day. Reserve for yourself a 30-60 minute period where you can be completely alone, in the silence. Turn off all radio and television, put aside all reading materials, and just allow yourself to commune deeply with the world around you.
Blaise Pascal, the French writer once wrote, “All the problems in the world originate because of man’s inability to be alone in a room with himself.”

Most people have never practiced solitude and meditation. We are so busy, with so much to do, and so little time, that we feel that we cannot take the few minutes necessary to sit quietly and be alone with ourselves. But this is mistaken. Each time that you sit in solitude for 30 minutes or more, you will feel your mind becoming clear and calm.

The problems and difficulties facing you will become lighter and easier to bear. You will receive superconscious insights and ideas to deal with the challenges of your day-to-day life. You will arise from a period of solitude greatly refreshed, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and with wonderful thoughts about how you can improve the quality of your life and work.

key 3. Set Peace of Mind as Your Most Important Goal Develop the habit of making “peace of mind” your most important goal in life, and then organize all of your life and activities around this goal. Listen to your inner voice. Trust your intuition. Only do what feels right and natural for you to do. When you begin to focus on developing greater peace of mind, and listening to your intuition, you will probably never make another mistake. You will always find yourself doing and saying the right things, in the right way, at the right time.

As you trust your inner voice, you will receive an endless flow of ideas, insights and creative solutions to solving your problems, and achieving your every goal. Fully 85% or more of all physical illnesses and ailments today are psychosomatic in origin. “psycho” the mind, makes “soma” the body, sick. The very act of letting go and relaxing, practicing solitude and meditation on a regular basis, dramatically lowers your levels of stress and tension, and raises your levels of energy and awareness.

The more centered you are within yourself, and the more positive and optimistic your thinking, the healthier and happier you will be and the longer you will live. By placing peace of mind as the central organizing principle of your life, you will become a more effective, efficient and happier person. The journey of your life will be far longer than that of the average person, and you will enjoy every step along the way.

Life will test you every step of the way to see if you are still serious about what you want. The faint-hearted will fall by the wayside at the first hurdle, but when you have a burning desire to make your dreams come true, nothing can stop you from reaching your highest aspirations. Remember that failure is simply the mechanics of success. You have to fail in order to learn, and if you give up every time you fail, you will never achieve anything.

key 1. When things are tough, find ways to believe in your dream again and find things that inspire you to keep going. Look for inspirational quotes that mean something to you, read the books that resonate with you, and seek out the people who inspire you to stay on track. Sometimes we need to take a break or spend some time getting our balance back when we have been overzealous about achieving our ambitions, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up. You might re-evaluate your goals and improve upon them, but never give up on your dreams.

key 2. Don’t take it all for granted. Think back occasionally in order to gain e sense of perspective and measure just how far you have come. It is astounding how much our lives can change when truly desire somthing better and work steadfast towards our dreams.

key 3. If you are not happy about the way things are going, then it is only you who can do something about it. When you reach the end of your life it will be you alone who will look back and wish you had followed your heart. You only have yourself to answer to, and you can’t blame anyone else if you fail to take control and seek out the things you want out of life.

key 4. Emerson said ” To be great is to be misunderstood”. Your dreams are special, and until your life changes in ways that people can understand and see, you have to have the courage to do it alone.

key 5. You can never hope to please everyone, and stay true to yourself. People  are generally quit negative and often it is hard to stay positive and committed to your dream when you are surrounded by negative attitudes. Negative people disrupt your thoughts and your equilibrium. Notice your discomfort around negative people and don’t spend time with them. Don’t waste time, either, explaining things to people who are controlling, manipulative or obstructive. Refuse to be disrespectful and you will gain self-respect.

key 6. You can chose who you spend time with, so chose to be with people who make you feel good to be alive. Positive supportive people are pleasant and calming to be with.

key 7. Think of the laws of cause and effect and treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. If you do this, you can’t go wrong. Life isn’t fair…life is simply the way it is. Learn to live without conditions or judgments and be open to the infinite possibilities  that surround you.

1. Your Friends Affect Your Future.
2. Each Relationship Feeds A Weakness or A Strength.
3. Each Friendship Is Comfortable With Your Present or Compatible With Your Future.
4. Every Relationship Is A Current That Sweeps You Toward Your Assignment or Moves You Away From It.
5. Some Relationships Can Damage You Irreparably.
6. Some Relationships Multiply Your Wisdom.
7. The Purpose of Wisdom Is To Disconnect You From Wrong People.
8. Your Future Is Determined By The People You Permit Near You.
9. When Satan Wants To Destroy You, He Puts A Person In Your Life.
10 When God Wants To Promote You, He Puts A Person In Your Life.
11. Those Who Are Fighting Against God Will Fight Against The God In You.
12 Those Who Despise Obedience To God Will Despise Your Obedience To God.
13. Those Who Desire God Will Recognize The God In You.
14. Those Who Do Not Increase You Will Inevitably Decrease You.
15. Those Who Do Not Make Deposits Eventually Make Withdrawals From You.
16. Each Friendship Will Abort or Advance Your Assignment.
17. The Holy Spirit Alone Can Direct You To The Right People Who Will Assist You In Completing Your Assignment.
18. No Relationship Is Ever Insignificant.

19. Intimacy Should Be Earned, Not Freely Given (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13  ” But we beseech you, brethren, to know them that labor among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; and to esteem them exceeding highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves”).
20. Intimacy Should Be The Reward For Proven Loyalty (John 15:13-14  ” Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do the things which I command you.).
21. True Friendship Is A Gift, Never A Demanded Requirement (1 Corinthians 13  read here).
22. When Wrong People Leave Your Life, Wrong Things Stop Happening .
23. When Right People Enter Your Life, Right Things Begin To Happen.
24. If You Fail To Guard Your Own Life, You Are Like A City Without Walls ( Proverbs 25:28  ” He whose spirit is without restraint Is [like] a city that is broken down and without walls” ).
25. Failure Occurs When The Wrong Person Gets Too Close.( judges 16:4  ” And it came to pass afterward, that he [Samson] loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah read full story here.” )

Achieving your dream takes dedication and sustained effort, you also need to balance this with other activities in your life. Balance work with play and rest, and make sure that you take care of your health and well-being. It is stupid to let yourself “burn out” and end up giving up on your dream. I have been there too, and it is hard to bounce back and find the will to get on track again. You need to pace yourself and take time off now and again to recharge your batteries.

Read a book, go for a swim or a good work-out in the gym, and take an evening off now and again. You will find that you come back to your goals with renewed energy  and enthusiasm, ready to achieve far more than if you had plodded on tired and jaded. In doing this, you are not taking time off from your dreams – just taking time out to re-balance your life.

Find things that are restorative and relaxing for you physically, mentally, and spiritually. Make a list of little things you can do to balance your life in each of these areas. I find a good long walk on the beach or in the countryside is just the thing – physical exercise, a chance to think and plan to contemplate the wonders of the universe. Find your own way to de-stress… take time out and consider it a priority. Take time to look after your body and mind, and to build the physical and mental strength you need to work towards your dream.

Being independent means refusing to be controlled or manipulated by anyone. It means having the self-respect to stand by your principles and your decisions and the courage to be who you are and to live the life you want , even in the face of opposition. Having the self-respect and independence frees you of the need of other people. You may choose to be with others, but you don’t need to lean on or make decisions for you; you have the strength to be alone if you choose.

We come into this world alone and we leave alone. We alone are answerable for the life we choose to live, jet so many define themselves through  other people – their spouses, their children,  their heroes – that they lose themselves and their own unique purpose in the process.

people become so dependent on others that they are unable to function alone. Many people can’t even bear to be alone for more than a few minutes. Nothing is for ever and the one thing you can rely on in life is that things change – circumstances, people, the environment we live in. Your inner strength and sense of independence will help see you through the problems and challenges of life.

Seek time to be alone every day and to contemplate your goals and direction in life. We often make ourselves to busy with daily “stuff to do”  and coping with the demands of other people to do the most important thing of all – to be still and listen with our intuition to our true inner being. And finally,  in order to have self-respect and stay independent you need to know your differences from others, you are unique and nobody like you. You’ve got personality, talents, abilities that’s  what makes you different from others. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, speak boldly and show that you have your own opinion and  that you are not afraid of being confronted with different opinion. People will start to have more and more  respect for you for being yourself and having your own opinion. Don’t expect that people will tap over your shoulder for having your own opinion or not having your own opinion, but at the end of the day being yourself and having your own opinion and not being afraid to share with others what you think it will make you much happier and you will understand that until you will start to have self-respect for yourself nobody will.

A positive attitude influences your whole life, determining thoughts and feelings, conversations, actions, goals and direction. A positive attitude can open up many possibilities, just as a negative attitude may shut them out.

A positive attitude starts with our thoughts. As we discovered, we have complete and obsolete control over what we think and we can consciously choose to think positive thoughts and rewire our brain for success.

Some people seem lucky enough to be born with a positive attitude, but others have to work at it. No matter what you came into this world with, you have the ability to develop a positive state of mind – one positive thought at a time. Every time a negative thought comes into your mind, immediately stop, and turn it into a positive one. It might take practice and persistence, but it works, and start to bring many positive changes into your life. Relationships will improve, problems turn into challenges, and hope and enthusiasm will grow. You begin to see opportunities where negative clouds previously obscured your vision of the future. You begin to believe that you really can make your dreams come true and make positive plans to make it happen.

Once you start this, you eventually begin to feel uncomfortable around negative people and tend to avoid them. In fact,I highly recommend that you do avoid negative, cynical people who try to dampen your enthusiasm or control you with their unproductive and negative approach, which will do nothing to bring them success in life. Concentrate fully on becoming positive and optimistic. You can achieve whatever you believe in wholeheartedly. Don’t let anyone stop you or trample on your dream. No one has a right to do that. Stay focused and stay on track and belief that your efforts will be rewarded when the time is right. Never forget,whatever your mind can conceive and believe you can achieve.

Usually, in order to make changes in our life’s, we have to make room for these new things by dropping something else. In order to study in the evenings, you will definitely have to cut down on watching television and maybe give up a few social events. People moan that there is not enough time to do anything other than just get through the day, but do you know – we have 24 hours as Einstein and Beethoven had! The differences is they didn’t squander their time, they used it for a purpose. Use your time wisely.

Evaluate what it is you want. Do you want your dream badly enough to make e few sacrifices? Achieving your goals may also mean being willing to pay the price. Are you prepared to get up in the morning to exercise or write another page of your book? If it’s worth having, it’s wo0rth working for.

The trouble is, there is no standing still.You are either gaining or slipping, either working towards something you want, or slipping away from it. You are making a choice whatever you do. Even if you do nothing, you are effectively making a choice to let it slip away while you procrastinate and try to make up your mind. Wait long enough  and you lose it completely because you’ve run out of time or the opportunity has gone to someone else.

Ultimately, you run out of life without ever having achieved your dream. So how will you spend your 24 hours a day?

A- Manage your time.

B-Try making a master list. You may want to do this on a monthly,weekly or daily basis, whatever suits you better. When you have your list written down ( better do it in the evenings ready for the next day), get the urgent and important stuff out of the way.

C- Prioritize your daily activities. Some stuff is urgent and has to be dealt with now; some is important, but not particularly urgent, so it can be planned into your day or week, or delegated if that is possible for you.  Make a list of things you really want to include in your day, and try to have some sort of routine to your day. Do whatever it takes to make your dream happen for you.

To protect yourself against negative influences, whether of your own making, or the result of the activities of negative people around you, recognize that you have a WILL-POWER, and put it into constant use, until it builds a wall of immunity against negative influences in your own mind. Recognize the fact that you, and every other human being, are, by nature, lazy, indifferent, and susceptible to all suggestions which harmonize with your weaknesses.

Recognize that negative influences often work on you through your subconscious mind, therefore they are difficult to detect, and keep your mind closed against all people who depress or discourage you in any way. Clean out your medicine chest, throw away all pill bottles, and stop pandering to colds, aches, pains and imaginary illness.
Deliberately seek the company of people who influence you to think and act for yourself.

Do not expect troubles as they have a tendency not to disappoint. Without doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence of other people. This weakness is all the more damaging, because most people do not recognize that they are cursed by it, and many who acknowledge it, neglect or refuse to correct the evil until it becomes an uncontrollable part of their daily habits.

You have ABSOLUTE CONTROL over but one thing, and that is your thoughts. This is the most significant and inspiring of all facts known to man! It reflects man’s Divine nature. This Divine prerogative is the sole means by which you may control your own destiny. If you fail to control your own mind, you may be sure you will control nothing else. If you must be careless with your possessions, let it be in connection with material things. Your mind is your spiritual estate! Protect and use it with the care to which Divine Royalty is entitled.

You were given a WILL-POWER for this purpose. Unfortunately, there is no legal protection against those who, either by design or ignorance, poison the minds of others by
negative suggestion. This form of destruction should be punishable by heavy legal penalties, because it may and often does destroy one’s chances of acquiring material things which are protected by law.

Mind control is the result of self-discipline and habit. You either control your mind or it controls you. There is no hall-way compromise. The most practical of all methods for controlling the mind is the habit of keeping it busy with a definite purpose, backed by a definite plan. Study the record of any man who achieves noteworthy success, and you will observe that he has control over his own mind, moreover, that he exercises that control and directs it toward the attainment of definite objectives.

Without this control, success is not possible.

Learn to trust yourself. Listen to your inner voice, your intuition. It is your best friend and is almost never wrong if you take the time to listen. Deep down, we know what is in our hearts and we know what is best for us in any given situation. We just have to learn to recognize the signals that our bodies are sending us. Usually intuition warns you not to do something. It’s a gut feeling that something is not quite right. How often, when things have gone wrong,have you said, “If only I  would listened to my gut feeling” or ” I just new it was the wrong thing to do, I should have known better”.

We often rely on our logical minds when we really should listen to the small voice inside us, which is aligned with our principles and will always do what is right for us. How often has your intuition prompted  you to do something that turned out to be a fabulous opportunity , or started off series of coincidences that led to worthwhile changes in your life? We all have intuition or gut feelings about things, yet often it is difficult to recognize this as our heads are full of instructions from other people.

Many of them are negative and detrimental to us, yet have become embroiled in our minds and indistinguishable from our own true feelings. We need to learn to stop and listen to our own inner voice, clear of all the clutter. You have to   just  “be” for a while. You could call it meditation, but it is essentially just stopping the noise in your head in order to get in touch with your true self. It is getting into the gap between your thoughts.

It is not always easy at first since we are not used to listening to our “inner guide”, but it does get less hard with practice. If you have decisions to make and are not sure what to do or can’t decide what direction to take, think it through and consider all your options, then turn it over to your subcnscious mind and listen to your intuition. It will almost invariably be right.  Sometimes we can go round in circles with reasoning and tie ourselves up in knots trying to work things out logically. Try simply trusting your gut instincts.

Find some space in your day to be alone – a special place where you won’t be disturbed by anyone or anything.  Just take some time every day to quietly sit alone, close your eyes, and silence your mind. As you sit peacefully, think of black velvet or concentrate your thoughts on a candle flame. After around 20 minutes or so you may start to get a feeling about something, which is your intuition starting to guide you. Sometimes you will get answers very clearly. The more you practice, the more you will recognize your intuition.

Learn to notice the feelings you get in your body in response to people, situations or your own thoughts. Intuition is definitely time related, and we get feelings about things only as we need them. How often have you said, “If only I would done that when I first thought of it; now it’s too late”?

All great thinkers spend time alone in contemplation and listen to their intuition. Get into the habit of listening to your “inner guide” and learn to trust your gut feelings. As you practice and prove that your intuition was right, you will come to rely on it more and more as a compass to your  “true north” and a guide to making decisions in your life.

3. The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can’t hit a target you can’t see. You can’t feel like a
winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.

Let’s say that you set a goal to sell a certain amount or earn a certain amount of income in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself. Each time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will
increase, and you will feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge.

4. The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. Leon Festinger of Harvard University concluded that in determining how well we are doing, we do not
compare ourselves with abstract standards, but, rather, we compare ourselves with people we know. To feel like a winner, you must know for sure that you are doing as
well as or better than someone else. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more
you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performances, and then
they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments.

But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.

5. The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.

6. The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols—larger offices, bigger cars—or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.

If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem, you must create rewards for yourself. One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals. For example, people who do telephone prospecting will often treat themselves to a cup of coffee after every 10 calls.

After 25 calls, they will reward themselves with a walk around the building or the block. After 50 calls, they will go out to lunch. Each of those rewards serves as an incentive that motivates them to repeat the performance. The end result is success, enthusiasm, and high self-esteem.

Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem building—goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards—you need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building yourself up on a regular basis. Of course, it is possible to like yourself in the abstract, to think of yourself as a valuable and worthwhile person, but this tends to be a very shaky form of self-esteem that is easily knocked down by a negative experience or a temporary disappointment.

The only real way for you to absolutely know that you are a valuable and worthwhile person is for you to make the effort, overcome the obstacles and pay the price to bring these elements into your life. When you have that foundation, you will experience a form of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.

Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performance in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.

Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis. Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you can possibly be.

Your level of self-esteem is really your level of “mental fitness.” It’s a measure of how healthy, hardy, and resilient you are in dealing with the inevitable ups and downs of daily life. Your self-esteem determines how much peace of mind and inner contentment you experience. It is also closely linked to your health and levels of energy. People with high self-esteem are seldom sick and seem to have an inexhaustible flow of energy and enthusiasm that progressively moves them toward their goals.

How much you like and respect yourself also determines the quality of your relationships with people. The more you like and enjoy yourself, the more you will like and enjoy others, and the more they will like you. In fact, when your self-esteem is hurt in any way, the very first thing that is affected is the way you get along with people.

To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.

There are 6 basic elements of building self esteem.

I have discovered a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performance.
This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let’s take them one at a time.
1. How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.

Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it’s really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.

2. The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear
about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be. Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent— that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another.

But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that’s when you start to make real progress. Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can’t seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them.

Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.

These  seven steps will help you to improve your positive self talk and you will understand better how to fight against negative self talk in your life.

Step 1. When you are faced with the difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem”, you should say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me. The word challenge is inherently positive. it’s something that you rise to and that makes you stronger. It’s again the same situation, only the word that you are using to describe is different.

Step 2 You should start your day in front of a mirror saying affirmations, such as “I like myself,” “I can do it,” and “I’m creative.”  These are personal and positive affirmations that will build your levels of self confidence and self-esteem. You should say these affirmations out loud in front of a mirror at least 45 times a day. By doing this, you will be driving these new positive thoughts deep into your subconscious. At first when you do this, you’ll feel kind of funny doing it, only because your mind over many years has been programmed with so much negativity that it will take time to reprogram your mind with these new positive affirmations.

Step  3 The starting point of becoming a more positive person is to control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and words positive consistently. Keep your mind focused on what you want and on becoming the person you want to be.

Remember that it is impossible to learn, grow and become successful without adversity and difficulties. You must rise above them in order to become a better person. So, face each difficulty as a learning experience and look into the situation to find something good or beneficial in it.

Step 4 When you become aware of having a negative thought, give it a positive spin. For example, if your self-talk tells you “I’m never going to be rich. I’m late to work yet again!;” remove the negative opinion from it. Then, you can change it into a more positive message like “I was late to the office today, but from today I will do everything what it takes to be on time?” Don’t allow your self-talk to beat you up so much. Take control of it and give them a spin. Focus on how you can avoid doing the behavior again. You need to understand this, you will not change over night,but when you start to deal with little negative things, it will transform all your life.

Step  5 A lot of people find it easier to replace negative self-talk with positive messages than to remove self-talk altogether. Some things you can do to replace your negative self-talk are:  1. Use more gentle words to refer to yourself and to situations. (For example instead of thinking “I hate being late,” replace that thought with “I really don’t like being late.”) and 2. Change Limiting Self-talk like “I can’t fix this car!” or “I’m not going to be able to fix that car!” to questions like “Why would I not fix this car?” and “What can I do to prepare for it better?”

Self-limiting statements are extremely harmful. They not only increase your stress in response to a situation but paralyze you from finding solutions to the problem. Replace these thoughts with questions instead. This way, you’ll be in the right frame of mind for finding ways to solve the problem. Asking yourself, “How can I fix this car?” or “What can I do to fix that car?” is much more empowering, isn’t it?

Step  6 Well, firstly ALWAYS say your positive affirmations in the present tense. This is very important as you want to feel the benefit of their power now, not only in the future. It is also a good idea to say the positive statements aloud. Now, this might not always be possible, especially if you are in the company of others! Remember that a positive thought and inner dialogue is still powerful even if it is not spoken out loud. Here are some examples of positive self talk statements:

• I am capable and can accomplish anything
• I am a special person
• I am confident around other people
• Other people like me
• I am worthwhile, successful and intelligent
• I am happy
• I am loved
• I succeed in everything I do

Step  7 Ban the words “hate” and “can’t” from your vocabulary. Both of these words are very strong and have the power to completely crush a good mood, make you second guess yourself, and bring doubt to your mind. Pay special attention to your negative thoughts and notice when you use these two words. It will likely be a lot more often than you ever realized!

If you hate yourself or things about yourself and believe that you can’t do things you want to do, you will stand in your own way of a successful, fulfilling life. Get rid of these words and your chances of overcoming the negative self talk are much higher.

It helps to have a list of positive affirmations that you would like to believe about yourself in the future. Turn these affirmations into positive self talk during the day and it will help eliminate the negative thoughts.